Do you know how to keep a woman happy? Here is some advice on relationships for men.
The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.
Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.
This tie into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.
Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.
You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.
The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.
Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can unland her just as easily.
She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.
You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.
The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
What Should I Do to Get My Ex Back
When you break up with someone you love, you go through lots of painful emotions. You feel sad, depressed and hurt, and you miss them. “What should I do to get my ex back?” becomes a question you constantly ask yourself.
There are many websites, books, blogs, forums and even courses designed to answer the question, what should I do to get my ex back? But common sense can really make a difference after a breakup. And common courtesy can go long way toward healing your relationship.
If you’re preoccupied with your lost relationship, wondering “what should I do to get my ex back?” then follow this simple advice. You’ll give yourself the best chance of getting back together with that special someone.
Don’t play games. This is very important, but unfortunately many people resort to this during breakups because it gives them a sense of power. If you can make the other person think that you don’t care, or you care more than you really do, you’re manipulating them and that can feel great. But it won’t feel great for long.
Eventually you’ll realize that lying and tricking the other person isn’t a good feeling. And anything good that happens because of it will always be sullied a little because of the lie.
Some people play games where they pretend to be dating someone else, or they pretend to be in love with someone else. This is a ploy to make the ex jealous. While it does work now and then, other times it makes the breakup permanent because it backfires.
Your ex could be so jealous at the thought of you being with someone else that they want you back. Or they could decide that since you moved on so quickly, you don’t really care about them anyway. You have no way of knowing which way this ploy will work until it’s too late.
Don’t be mean. This holds true in any situation or any relationship, but sometimes the anger around a breakup makes us act more viciously than we normally might. Even if you’re hurt, the fact that you want to know, ‘What should I do to get my ex back?” shows that you’re ready to forgive that person. If you couldn’t, you wouldn’t want your ex back, you’d be glad it was over.
Now, think about how you’ve been acting. If you were your ex, would you look forward to spending time with you or talking to you? Or would you dread each time? Do you shout and nag? Even if you feel like raising all kinds of arguments, simply don’t. Work very hard at controlling your anger and hurt, and being a person they can miss.
“What should I do to get my ex back?” Be on your best behavior and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They’ll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you’ll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.
There are many websites, books, blogs, forums and even courses designed to answer the question, what should I do to get my ex back? But common sense can really make a difference after a breakup. And common courtesy can go long way toward healing your relationship.
If you’re preoccupied with your lost relationship, wondering “what should I do to get my ex back?” then follow this simple advice. You’ll give yourself the best chance of getting back together with that special someone.
Don’t play games. This is very important, but unfortunately many people resort to this during breakups because it gives them a sense of power. If you can make the other person think that you don’t care, or you care more than you really do, you’re manipulating them and that can feel great. But it won’t feel great for long.
Eventually you’ll realize that lying and tricking the other person isn’t a good feeling. And anything good that happens because of it will always be sullied a little because of the lie.
Some people play games where they pretend to be dating someone else, or they pretend to be in love with someone else. This is a ploy to make the ex jealous. While it does work now and then, other times it makes the breakup permanent because it backfires.
Your ex could be so jealous at the thought of you being with someone else that they want you back. Or they could decide that since you moved on so quickly, you don’t really care about them anyway. You have no way of knowing which way this ploy will work until it’s too late.
Don’t be mean. This holds true in any situation or any relationship, but sometimes the anger around a breakup makes us act more viciously than we normally might. Even if you’re hurt, the fact that you want to know, ‘What should I do to get my ex back?” shows that you’re ready to forgive that person. If you couldn’t, you wouldn’t want your ex back, you’d be glad it was over.
Now, think about how you’ve been acting. If you were your ex, would you look forward to spending time with you or talking to you? Or would you dread each time? Do you shout and nag? Even if you feel like raising all kinds of arguments, simply don’t. Work very hard at controlling your anger and hurt, and being a person they can miss.
“What should I do to get my ex back?” Be on your best behavior and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They’ll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you’ll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Learn How to Get Him Back
Are you yearning for the good old days and hoping to rekindle a lost romance? Are you interested in giving a tumultuous relationship another chance? Follow these steps detailed below and you can learn how to get him back.
1 - Keep in mind, first and foremost, that patience is a virtue. Do not rush anything, but rather start things off with a simple small whenever you pass your ex, or waving and saying hello every so often. You should maintain eye contact so that he knows you are communicating with him and not with somebody else, but do not let it go much further than this.
2 - Try slowly implementing conversation in again, making an attempt to talk to him when you can. Remember that you should keep your conversation brief, and rather basic in nature. Do not reveal too much, because mystery is actually quite a bit appealing for many men. Also, if you run into him at a party or a social gathering, if your friends come into the room, you may consider stopping the conversation to return to them. This will let him know that while the communication between the two of you is nice, he is not your highest priority right now. Don't be afraid to flirt a little bit here and there as well.
3 - Keep things fresh. Make sure that you look good, and smell good, and that you keep things changed up on a fairly regular basis in order to keep him interested in you. You should put some thought into your appearance because maintaining your good looks will show confidence and respect for yourself and your body which is something that most men find quite sexy and attractive.
4 - Don't be afraid to throw a few honest compliments out there every so often. You are going to want to make sure that your ex feels good any time he is around you if you really want to get your ex back. Talk about the good times that you and he spent together, bringing up good memories from the past. Help him remember some of the best highlights from the days of your relationship and enjoy the reminiscing while simultaneously working to get him back.
Try to become your ex's friend first and foremost, because if he wants you back, he will eventually let you know. Be his friend, open up to him, show him a nice time, and if his feelings for you are rekindled, he will let you know. Take things slowly and don't act too needy. Instead, just play it cool and let him come to you. If things are meant to be, they will be, and you will learn how to get him back through the process.
1 - Keep in mind, first and foremost, that patience is a virtue. Do not rush anything, but rather start things off with a simple small whenever you pass your ex, or waving and saying hello every so often. You should maintain eye contact so that he knows you are communicating with him and not with somebody else, but do not let it go much further than this.
2 - Try slowly implementing conversation in again, making an attempt to talk to him when you can. Remember that you should keep your conversation brief, and rather basic in nature. Do not reveal too much, because mystery is actually quite a bit appealing for many men. Also, if you run into him at a party or a social gathering, if your friends come into the room, you may consider stopping the conversation to return to them. This will let him know that while the communication between the two of you is nice, he is not your highest priority right now. Don't be afraid to flirt a little bit here and there as well.
3 - Keep things fresh. Make sure that you look good, and smell good, and that you keep things changed up on a fairly regular basis in order to keep him interested in you. You should put some thought into your appearance because maintaining your good looks will show confidence and respect for yourself and your body which is something that most men find quite sexy and attractive.
4 - Don't be afraid to throw a few honest compliments out there every so often. You are going to want to make sure that your ex feels good any time he is around you if you really want to get your ex back. Talk about the good times that you and he spent together, bringing up good memories from the past. Help him remember some of the best highlights from the days of your relationship and enjoy the reminiscing while simultaneously working to get him back.
Try to become your ex's friend first and foremost, because if he wants you back, he will eventually let you know. Be his friend, open up to him, show him a nice time, and if his feelings for you are rekindled, he will let you know. Take things slowly and don't act too needy. Instead, just play it cool and let him come to you. If things are meant to be, they will be, and you will learn how to get him back through the process.
How to Get your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Driving Him Away
Did something go wrong between you and your boyfriend, causing one or both of you to flee? If you were well on your way to creating a happy relationship and somehow managed to fall off the track, don't worry! It is possible to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back with the right steps and a basic understanding of where to go from here.
First, you are going to want to ask yourself four vital questions. These are really important questions when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back.
- Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting?
- Is it even really appropriate to argue about this matter right now?
- Can anything be changed or made different by prevailing in the argument or is it more worthwhile to just nip the argument in the bud and move on?
- Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place?
If you answer no to any of the aforementioned questions, then stop pressing the matter and let it slide. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled if a large argument is settled. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing argument are really completely unnecessary, and could be cast aside if only the parties involved could let the tension slide and move on.
The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop fretting so hard about how you are being perceived. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to let go on these concerns so that you can finally be yourself and let your behavior flow. This way, people like your ex boyfriend will perceive you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be.
Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counter intuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when true resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. It's important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation.
Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate through a solution.
Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through, so this should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care significantly for.
These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him away.
First, you are going to want to ask yourself four vital questions. These are really important questions when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back.
- Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting?
- Is it even really appropriate to argue about this matter right now?
- Can anything be changed or made different by prevailing in the argument or is it more worthwhile to just nip the argument in the bud and move on?
- Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place?
If you answer no to any of the aforementioned questions, then stop pressing the matter and let it slide. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled if a large argument is settled. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing argument are really completely unnecessary, and could be cast aside if only the parties involved could let the tension slide and move on.
The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop fretting so hard about how you are being perceived. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to let go on these concerns so that you can finally be yourself and let your behavior flow. This way, people like your ex boyfriend will perceive you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be.
Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counter intuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when true resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. It's important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation.
Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate through a solution.
Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through, so this should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care significantly for.
These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him away.
How to Get Back Together With Your Ex Boyfriend
Sacrifice and compromise are both critical parts in the give and take that goes hand in hand with any relationship. If you are asking "How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?" then you are going to need to keep these things in mind. Nothing is going to make mending a broken relationship simple, but some of the advice contained within this article can certainly make it a lot less difficult overall to give him a reason to want to come back to you.
So while you may be obsessing with the all important question, "how can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?” what you need to be focusing on is rectifying the causes of failure. By doing so you will be able to eliminate the tension and stress which brought the split on in the first place.
So, How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend, you ask?
When a relationship fails, you need to take that as an indication that something went wrong. If your boyfriend left you, then it was likely for one of two reasons: Either the relationship was becoming stale because there was not enough of you in it, or the relationship was getting too claustrophobic because there was too much of you in it. Either way, one of these causes is going to lead to relationship suicide. If you are asking "How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend", then you need to start looking at which of these led to the break up so you can act accordingly.
Whatever the issue is that chiefly contributed to the split, it was probably either something that you did, or something that you didn't do. It may be harsh to look at things this way, but that is simply how it usually works. The person who was broken up with either did, or did not do something and the person doing the splitting simply felt driven away. So now what happens, and how can you manage to get him to come back? The first step is to change whatever it was that drove him away in the first place.
You need to sit down and really take a hard look at your situation. What could have led to the breakup? Which of these things were your fault, and which were not your fault?
Rule out the ones that were out of your control, since they continue to be out of your control, and focus on the things that you did do wrong, the ones that you can in fact change. If your biggest problem is something that you were responsible for and that you could change, then there is a very good chance that you can still get back together with him. However, you must be certain you really are willing to make the necessary changes to appeal to him again.
Just knowing how to get back together with your ex boyfriend is not enough. It won't happen unless you are willing to take action. Now!
So while you may be obsessing with the all important question, "how can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?” what you need to be focusing on is rectifying the causes of failure. By doing so you will be able to eliminate the tension and stress which brought the split on in the first place.
So, How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend, you ask?
When a relationship fails, you need to take that as an indication that something went wrong. If your boyfriend left you, then it was likely for one of two reasons: Either the relationship was becoming stale because there was not enough of you in it, or the relationship was getting too claustrophobic because there was too much of you in it. Either way, one of these causes is going to lead to relationship suicide. If you are asking "How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend", then you need to start looking at which of these led to the break up so you can act accordingly.
Whatever the issue is that chiefly contributed to the split, it was probably either something that you did, or something that you didn't do. It may be harsh to look at things this way, but that is simply how it usually works. The person who was broken up with either did, or did not do something and the person doing the splitting simply felt driven away. So now what happens, and how can you manage to get him to come back? The first step is to change whatever it was that drove him away in the first place.
You need to sit down and really take a hard look at your situation. What could have led to the breakup? Which of these things were your fault, and which were not your fault?
Rule out the ones that were out of your control, since they continue to be out of your control, and focus on the things that you did do wrong, the ones that you can in fact change. If your biggest problem is something that you were responsible for and that you could change, then there is a very good chance that you can still get back together with him. However, you must be certain you really are willing to make the necessary changes to appeal to him again.
Just knowing how to get back together with your ex boyfriend is not enough. It won't happen unless you are willing to take action. Now!
Monday, May 31, 2010
How to Win Back Lost Love
If you’ve had a break-up, you’re probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea.
If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you’ve done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.
If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)
When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.
If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.
But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.
Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.
If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you’ve done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.
If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)
When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.
If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.
But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.
Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Discover Ten Ways to Save Your Relationship
The petty fights have escalated. The long, drawn out silences are nearly deafening now. You can be in the same bed for an entire night and never once touch each other. There is trouble in your relationship and you both know it. But how can you save it? What can you try before it is simply too late?
The fact that you are both willing to try anything at all is a good sign in my book, and there are ways to save a relationship, but it takes work.
1. Spend time remembering what drew you together in the first place. Did you fall in love with her quirky sense of humor? Did he drive you wild in his football jersey? What exactly attracted you to one another? Find something from your mutual past and use it to reconnect with your partner. Take her to a comedy and club and watch her let loose. Dig out his old jersey and ask him to wear it. Even if you have to pretend to be these people for a minute or two, go back in time to when your love was new. The feelings are still there, they have just been buried under the stress of life. Let them back out.
2. Touch for the sake of touching. When we are angry, hurt or sad, we tend to withdraw back into ourselves. We stop reaching out to our loved ones and that makes them hurt, angry and sad. Reach out and stroke your wife’s hair. Run your fingers along your husband's arm. Allow your hips to gently brush against one another as you pass in the hallway. Just touch each other.
3. Kissing is different from touching. With touching, it can be misconstrued as accidental. There is no way to unintentionally kiss somebody. Women: take your husband's face in your hands, stare him right in the eyes and then kiss him, softly and slowly. You would be surprised how fast passion can melt away anger.
4. Try a change of scenery. Staring at the same four walls when you are angry with someone can make the most beautifully decorated room feel like a jail cell. Go away for the weekend, even if it is only to a local hotel. The change may allow you to relax enough to discuss what is wrong, or maybe it will suddenly seem so insignificant that you forget it completely.
5. Act like you are strangers. Have you ever noticed that we treat perfect strangers with more dignity and respect than we do our loved ones? Our manners in general public can be exquisite while at home we turn into Penny and Paulie Pig, grunting and squealing at our spouses. Doesn't sound fair, does it? Try to be more polite while at home and see if that changes things. Ask sweetly for something and include a "please." Say thank you for tasks completed, no matter how small. Give and receive compliments graciously. Act like you really do like this person.
6. Learn something new as a couple. If you can stop bickering long enough, agree to try a new hobby or sport. Pick up some used golf clubs and go down to the golf course for a few rounds. Hike in the woods, bike on a trail; do something new and possibly exciting and discover a whole new side to your lover.
7. Talk it out. You have pouted for over a week because he did not notice your new hair cut. Unless you hacked off more than six inches of hair, it might be because he did not register such a subtle change as quickly as your female friends did. Then again, maybe he did notice and didn’t really care for it. Maybe the whole point of him not saying anything is because he was afraid he would hurt your feelings. And yet, here you are, with hurt feelings. Tell him about it. He cannot read your mind, so tell him that you cut your hair and that he did not notice. Tell him that you are mad as hell about it. Of course, after he tells you what he really thought about your hair, you might be even madder than that!
8. Write a letter. It might seem strange to write a letter to someone who is sitting across the breakfast table, but if you are not communicating any other way, it might be a safer option. List all the points that you want to make and then write. Don’t worry about how it is worded; you are not going for Wordsworth, after all. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. And always remember: do not ever put into writing today what you do not want to be reminded of tomorrow.
9. Seek counseling. If all else fails, try a couple’s counselor. If you truly want to save your relationship, the impartial wisdom of an outside party might be just the saving grace you need. You vent to your friends, and they all agree that you have married a slovenly pig. He vents to his friends and they all agree with him that he has married a soul crushing shrew. A counselor will not take sides and may be able to steer you onto the right path of self healing.
10. As a last resort consider a trial separation. If all else has failed, agree to spend a weekend apart with no communication of any kind. The time alone will give you time to reflect and renew. Besides, you know the old saying: absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The fact that you are both willing to try anything at all is a good sign in my book, and there are ways to save a relationship, but it takes work.
1. Spend time remembering what drew you together in the first place. Did you fall in love with her quirky sense of humor? Did he drive you wild in his football jersey? What exactly attracted you to one another? Find something from your mutual past and use it to reconnect with your partner. Take her to a comedy and club and watch her let loose. Dig out his old jersey and ask him to wear it. Even if you have to pretend to be these people for a minute or two, go back in time to when your love was new. The feelings are still there, they have just been buried under the stress of life. Let them back out.
2. Touch for the sake of touching. When we are angry, hurt or sad, we tend to withdraw back into ourselves. We stop reaching out to our loved ones and that makes them hurt, angry and sad. Reach out and stroke your wife’s hair. Run your fingers along your husband's arm. Allow your hips to gently brush against one another as you pass in the hallway. Just touch each other.
3. Kissing is different from touching. With touching, it can be misconstrued as accidental. There is no way to unintentionally kiss somebody. Women: take your husband's face in your hands, stare him right in the eyes and then kiss him, softly and slowly. You would be surprised how fast passion can melt away anger.
4. Try a change of scenery. Staring at the same four walls when you are angry with someone can make the most beautifully decorated room feel like a jail cell. Go away for the weekend, even if it is only to a local hotel. The change may allow you to relax enough to discuss what is wrong, or maybe it will suddenly seem so insignificant that you forget it completely.
5. Act like you are strangers. Have you ever noticed that we treat perfect strangers with more dignity and respect than we do our loved ones? Our manners in general public can be exquisite while at home we turn into Penny and Paulie Pig, grunting and squealing at our spouses. Doesn't sound fair, does it? Try to be more polite while at home and see if that changes things. Ask sweetly for something and include a "please." Say thank you for tasks completed, no matter how small. Give and receive compliments graciously. Act like you really do like this person.
6. Learn something new as a couple. If you can stop bickering long enough, agree to try a new hobby or sport. Pick up some used golf clubs and go down to the golf course for a few rounds. Hike in the woods, bike on a trail; do something new and possibly exciting and discover a whole new side to your lover.
7. Talk it out. You have pouted for over a week because he did not notice your new hair cut. Unless you hacked off more than six inches of hair, it might be because he did not register such a subtle change as quickly as your female friends did. Then again, maybe he did notice and didn’t really care for it. Maybe the whole point of him not saying anything is because he was afraid he would hurt your feelings. And yet, here you are, with hurt feelings. Tell him about it. He cannot read your mind, so tell him that you cut your hair and that he did not notice. Tell him that you are mad as hell about it. Of course, after he tells you what he really thought about your hair, you might be even madder than that!
8. Write a letter. It might seem strange to write a letter to someone who is sitting across the breakfast table, but if you are not communicating any other way, it might be a safer option. List all the points that you want to make and then write. Don’t worry about how it is worded; you are not going for Wordsworth, after all. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. And always remember: do not ever put into writing today what you do not want to be reminded of tomorrow.
9. Seek counseling. If all else fails, try a couple’s counselor. If you truly want to save your relationship, the impartial wisdom of an outside party might be just the saving grace you need. You vent to your friends, and they all agree that you have married a slovenly pig. He vents to his friends and they all agree with him that he has married a soul crushing shrew. A counselor will not take sides and may be able to steer you onto the right path of self healing.
10. As a last resort consider a trial separation. If all else has failed, agree to spend a weekend apart with no communication of any kind. The time alone will give you time to reflect and renew. Besides, you know the old saying: absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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